Specialty rice is usually vacuum packed into bricks and sold in weights smaller than ordinary grain. Seems the brick package is designed for better use of shelf space but it also turns rice into something one can use either to deliver or shield from blunt force trauma. Brown rice is brown rice so I always buy non-vacuum packed types.
Then I saw purple brown rice.
What’s the most fun way of opening a vacuum packed rice brick? Spillage was not my first concern. Make a hole in a corner, on an edge, or just stab it in the middle? The winning idea was to hold the brick upright, balancing it on the rounded edge of the brick, while making the incision. I figured with the combination of a small hole and the upright position I’d feel and see the brick assume a pliable, self-supporting pear-shape, without spilling a single grain.
Didn’t think about what noise it would make. Was glad I didn’t because it was completely and delightfully unexpected. The sound of slumping grain instantly took me back to 1976, the sofa in my girlfriend’s apartment and the sound of large boobs sliding out the bottom of the just unclasped bra. Release the mounds!